for the Thingfish...

For my pool playin' little buddy -

http://www.las-solanas.com/kwfm/concerts/tom%20waits/05%20tom%20gets%20hustled%20at%209%20ball.mp3

ancient history

Watched Grosse Pointe Blank this morning for the umpteenth time and I began to think about my years in high school (no more then four thanks to my buddy Mark Porter...I still owe you $30). I mostly thought back on the choices I made. Granted alot of my high school years were filled with the retarded adolescent bullshit that everyone seems to have done way back when, but you never regret them because you were doing em with friends. Squashing into the back of an MG to ditch class with your friends because one of em could drive. Doing mean crap to ex girlfriends who broke your heart. Drinking your first beer and (sorry mom) smoking a cigarette for the first and last time ever. In a way they were rites of passage, deviations from the stale institution of learning you were forced to attend.
But in your four years you also remember a handfull of people you had the privilege of knowing. Possibly in passing...maybe just a face or a name, but you knew them. Girls you wanted to date, kiss (or worse), guys you wanted to be like, people you wanted to see fall on long sharp shards of twisted metal. It seemed to happen in everyone's teenage lifetime. Most of the drama that happened in my school played out like an after-school movie (if John Hughes had done T.V.). It's very sad you don't realize what an interesting time it was until you find a dusty yearbook, or a school memento at the back of your closet when you're in your late 20's or early 30's.
But, while I was waxing nostalgic about the "torturous teen years" I began to wonder if I would have done it differently? Would I have gone for that "dare to be great" scenario in the countless teen movies I saw in that time period? Not really.
I may not be an uber famous artist, nor an animator for Don Bluth (screw disney), but I have all the creature comforts of a better than average life. I'm proud to say I never flipped burgers, played custodian, cleaned out toilets or dug ditches as my parents led me to believe I'd be doing if I slacked off. Could I have done better? Absolutely. But I have a lovely and amazing wife, a great dog, 2 great cats, a burgeoning art career, a job that isn't demeaning, and (finally) the ability to drive.I think that's not too shabby from a guy that was (as a teacher put it) "gonna be slinging hash for the rest of my life". It isn't a white picket fence in front of a house in the Hamptons with 2.5 children, but who the fuck wants that vanilla plain Leave It To Beaver lifestyle anyway?

In honor of the bizarre Michael jackson trial, I've taken small snippets from 2 news story blurbs and ran them through the Babelfish translator from altavista.com. First translating them into japanese then back. Witness the hilarity:

When 1 o'clock of the position where execution and defense almost that are reversed being something of the conspiracy regarding this test was recognition of a certain thing. The test fights and the brittleness of affirmative cunningness and this between stardom of execution ' ' in regard to mass appeal is thin. In regard to the hole decision which ' was and is connected when the sealing is large perhaps and is it is or, role either one is threatened ' the brand of Jackson's weirdness or, either one ' is not reported is not defined of thing or either one with profound weirdness... affirmative behavior of the execution person of the jury which is not rather shown under any condition in regard to the external personality of Jackson's who was not repeated the only fact. And the execution which exactly is the victim could not prove that. When our large portions of decisive Jackson's to the world of music contribution are long, because... it dried, as for being closely of reaction カシ minimum several it is certain he cannot understand calmly; Him who is better than the state where the present time is bad. The image which "is ended

The world... as for note of reputation it could be caught with experiment by Michael whom Jackson who "finishes deliberately from 10 minutes of child abuse made in walking. The United States the usefulness, the conclusion which is the medium-sized circus, the night watch outside the movement of the courthouse where ventilator everyday raise in salary 1 maintains is legitimate. When from the view and the return, very at the time of the superstar of the pop music of atrophy is discovered discovering it goes out with, in the center of the argument whose Jackson is new, you being fair, it is easy to come out of possible execution and its mother point light/write. Him, of the after all, in regard to the history unusual action? It owns that? It meaning that that is difficult, he the public public finance which continues to the design of the beginning of experimental period of note, extremeness, is equal is experienced. Perhaps, him of musical score collection or "success many... the zoo of that star and the side which shares that ranch of Neverland which amusement area attaches, when, the catalog of day and the right perhaps for the sake of he is stimulated excessively with these is sold because you re-cannot adjust

...yes, I amuse easily.

*DROOL*

Dear Jesus (or anyone who's reading this),

I have been a good person and haven't attempted murder, overthrown a government, coveted anyone's wife, stolen heavy objects, stolen small objects (within reason), committed falsehoods (also within reason), nor did I worship small woodland creatures as my god. So, can you please see your way clear to making my hearse look like this?...













*sigh* ...while I'm dreaming, I'd like a pony.