...A fish, a bottle of wine, and a bicycle.

If I had one piece of advice to dole out during a valedictorian speech (yea, that'll happen soon) it would be, "Don't discount surreal moments." Far too often, bizarre occurrences go overlooked due to the drudgery of everyday life. People simply don't have the time to see a cornucopia of truly hilarious scenes. A mentally distrubed man believing he's jesus christ singing about how much of a savior he is, portly children who wave to buildings expecting them to wave back, people who pick fights with inanimate objects, or even people who shout long streams of obscenities in "family establishments"...all fine examples...and all sadly overlooked. Why?
Perhaps those two horrid words "political correctness" have made us bland shells of our former selves so forever fearful of offending anyone that we IMMEDIATELY don blinders to anything (or anyone) out of the norm. I say screw that. Bankers and accountants lead "normal lives" and look how boring most of them are. The odd and misshapen masses should should be greeted with waves of cheers not a cold sholder and pocket change. Or maybe it's time for you, intrepid reader, to venture out and do something outlandish so we normal folk learn by example. Wear a large foam hat and shout passages written by your pet vole George, make ketchup packet animals, or whisper consipracy theories to your sandwich...your choice, but DO IT!!! DO IT!!!

...Damn...gotta stop eating sugar before bed.


Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.
W. H. Auden (1907 - 1973)